Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The feeling are messing with the penis
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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