i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
