the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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