remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
