escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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