I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
