if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
