My nipple is on Facebook.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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