never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
