he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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