I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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