First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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