Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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