During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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