The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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