On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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