remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize