fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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