My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
