you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
