I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
