Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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