just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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