I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize