She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
