Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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