it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
