She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
