oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
