I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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