Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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