WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
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