remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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