u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
