I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize