first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think I am morally bankrupt
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
