I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
