Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
