Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
