On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
