dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
