I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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