you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
