i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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