I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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