opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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