I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
