She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize