So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Bring me that man meat
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
send nudes
from the living room?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
