his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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