I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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