Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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