I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
