Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
