don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
