I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
