So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize