That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Randomize
