all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
