just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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