she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
