your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
