I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
