It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
