READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
