How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize